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Chapter 38 - Daddy Talk Time

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My wife, Lisa, added daddy talk time in here. This is something I started doing when he was about 4 years old.  It is my bonding time with my son.

Our evening routine (there is that routine word again) is like this:

6:00 – 7:00 – Cook and have dinner

7:30 – 8:00 – Get ready for bed (vitamin, bath, brush teeth)

8:00 – In mom and dad’s bed reading books (30-45 min)

8:30/8:45 – In bed – Prayers and Daddy talk time.

During the last 15-30 minutes of the day we do what I call daddy talk time. Daddy talk time consists of me asking him how his day was and what he learned during the day. I ask him at that point if he has any questions for me or if he wants to share anything with me. We typically do some type of learning during that time.  I often utilize YouTube videos to answer his questions.

Example: He wanted to see how pumpkins grew during Halloween. We watched a pumpkin patch grow on an elapsed time video on YouTube (on the phone). It satisfied his craving, he learned, and it was a bonding experience.

I typically end daddy talk time by telling him five specific things he did during the day that made me proud.

That list can look something like this: (I reference the things he already shared with me during the conversations we had up to that point in the day)

Today in school you stayed on color green (that means that he did not get in trouble for anything).

That makes daddy proud.

Today when mommy came home with groceries you helped her bring them in without us asking.

That makes daddy proud.

Today at soccer practice when one of your friends tripped and fell, you went over and lent a hand to pick them up.

That makes daddy proud.

When you lost the soccer game today you still went and shook everybody’s hands and told them good game.

That makes daddy proud.

Tonight, when we said prayers, you thanked God for several things that daddy did not expect you to thank him for.

That makes daddy proud.

I typically ask him one last question.

Is there anything that you did today that daddy may have missed that you did because you know it makes daddy proud?

Sometimes his answer is no. Other times he will tell me something he did at school that I would not have otherwise known. Because I ask this question, he opens up and tells me another positive aspect of his day. I always reinforce and let him know those things do make me proud.

I have plenty to be proud of as his father.  It makes him want to do more when I acknowledge it. Reward the behavior you desire, at least by acknowledging it.

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"I love how it is written as a tool. Not a book you can just read through and put up on the shelf, it is an action book, and when you come across this issue of parenting grab the book and look for suggestions." - Lisa Bechtol

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